Worry
The unwise man
is awake all night
worries over and again.
When morning rises
he is restless still,
his burden as before.
Face Value
The unwise man
assumes that only
friends laugh to his face.
At the table with the wise
he cannot tell
what they say behind his back
Note: This is part 13 in an ongoing series (the series starts HERE) bringing together the Hávamál (a collection of Norse wisdom poetry) and the still-evolving rules and mores of the Internet, particularly as they are developing in the realm of social media.
Note: This is part 13 in an ongoing series (the series starts HERE) bringing together the Hávamál (a collection of Norse wisdom poetry) and the still-evolving rules and mores of the Internet, particularly as they are developing in the realm of social media.
Because humans are a social species, we all have a tendency to create a sort of mask of false-self which we use to interact with our world. We "prepare a face to meet the faces that ]we] meet". Of course this makes vulnerability, relationship, and connection far more difficult to achieve and plenty has been said about it already—if you are interested I would recommend the work of Brene Brown. Certainly the Vikings are not a culture with which we generally associate vulnerability. The same ought to be said of social media and internet culture.
Living in the context of a functional anarchy and without the protections of a state, reputation was more important for the survival of a medieval Icelander than it is for most of us today. As a social species, we are fundamentally dependent on one another and threat of social isolation is ultimately existential. People literally die as a result—both direct and indirect—of social isolation. The psychological upshot of this human dynamic is to reinforce the urge to guard our reputations closely, to put great effort into defending our names and characters.
All of that is natural and the degree to which it is true in modern off-line meat-space society is intensified by an order of magnitude in the contexts of medieval Iceland and the social internet.
And yet, the best option—at the end of the day the only workable option—is the massively counter-intuitive choice to embrace authenticity and vulnerability. As the wise among the Vikings remind us, it is the unwise who "is awake at night over and over again". Bring to mind that person who is so afraid of being seen to have been wrong that she cannot ever concede a point in a discussion, or that friend who can never graciously accept a single barb as his expense. Have you noticed that they seem to become almost tone deaf online? Have you noticed those people (the unwise) who think they are "winning" when to every reader they are only making greater and greater fools of themselves?
At the table with the wisehe cannot tellwhat they say behind his back.
So take a breath. Be willing to be seen. Admit when you are wrong. Be quiet when you could talk sometimes. And be willing to walk away when you need to. Don't stay up too late replaying a discussion, trying to formulate the perfect answer. When morning comes you will still be restless.
